Nefarious Deeds Occurring at
Whaleback
This is a difficult email to write. I enjoy writing about
positive topics, like great snow conditions, back country tours to the top of
Crash Hill, recreational skiers who say, "I'm signing up for the Festival of
Skiers" and other wonderful happenings at Whaleback, But
tonight I must devote my communication to nefarious deeds. Unsolved
mysteries that lurk in the shadows of Whaleback. At first I thought,
well mayBE I shouldn't, but then my years of teaching experience came
into full focus and I realized that the facts must be presented to the
membership; otherwise unsuspecting club members may become victims,
and they would have the right to say "you should have alerted me about a
potential risk in our midst".
Nefarious Deed #1 - The Case of the Evaporating
Beer -
To celebrate the marathon we had a wonderful banquet
followed by a Wicked Good Kitchen Party at the ski chalet and ski friends
from all over the province were in attendance. Whaleback went out of
their way to offer hospitality to our members and friends by
providing music, conversation and even complimentary beer. But
in true "healthy active living" fashion the kitchen party crowd were very
responsible consumers of complimentary Molson product and when the evening was
over, there was approximately 9 dozen cases of Molson product
left over. What a wonderful testament to the healthy
lifestyles that skiers lead! So here is all this leftover product,
valued at about $175. stacked on the floor in the kitchen in the late
hours of the Kitchen Party and "bibbidddy boobbbbiddy booo", literally in the
time it takes for a snow squall to pass over Hayes' Hump, the beer
stacks disappear with no explanation. Puzzling ... very puzzling to say
the least! Not only did the Molson product disappear, but some
Labatts product that loyal Whalebackers took to the party and left on the
front step also went for a brisk stroll to some unknown location late in the
evening. One well known Whaleback buddy came to the party and left
a case of Labatts on the front step. Later in the evening when he
was leaving the party he went out the door fully expecting to pick
up the leftovers of his friendly six pack that should have been on the step
and "there it was, gone." Absolutely amazing!
Initially, when I discovered that the entire stack of
cases was missing (except two dozen left in the back room), I wrote an email
to many of the Whalebackers who were at the party thinking optimistically
that maybe someone had stowed the more than 200 + lbs. of beer in a safe
location and that an email would solicit a prompt response as to the location of
the brew. But no such luck. Gone ... figuratively, and maybe literally
.... disappeared into thin air. It is indeed a mystery.
The unfortunate part of all this is that a loyal member of the ski club has to
be repaid for the cost of 4 dozen beer that he had purchased on behalf of the
club and brought to the chalet to treat our guests ... so this cost has to
be deducted from the profit that the marathon brought in.
Nefarious Deed #2 - The Case of the Missing
Fanny Pack
In late January, a dedicated member of Whaleback cruised
the Snowy Owl Classic Course with great gusto and was so elated with his
performance that he bounced out of the chalet and went home forgetting his
trusty and dependable fanny pack full of waxes hanging on the ski
rack. Mr. Gusto did not miss the fanny pack for a week and
immediately upon discovering the loss, he went directly to the chalet and
reported it to the attendants. Melinda and Linda turned the chalet upside
down and no fanny pack was found. He was heart broken over the loss
and sent me an email asking me if I would make note of the missing fanny
pack in a Newsletter to the membership. Maybe someone saw it! Maybe
borrowed it! Maybe hide it away! Now I would be an idiot if I
were to believe that everyone reads my emails, but what occurred after
the sending of that email about the missing fanny pack was very
interesting. A few days after the email was sent which named the
individual who lost the fanny pack, the fanny pack mysteriously reappeared in
the chalet under the counter in the kitchen. Linda walked into the
kitchen and there it was, as large as life in the area that she has thoroughly
searched just the previous week. Now where did the fanny pack come
from? Had someone stored it for a week or so and then returned tit to the
chalet and not told anyone? Did a team of mice from the wood shed drag it
into the kitchen and then abandoned it as they searched the nooks and
crannies for crumbs. Mr. Gusto was elated to receive his fanny pack back
and the mystery of how it was returned and where it was stored for
a week or so has still remains unsolved.
Nefarious Deed #3 - The case of the Missing
Poles from the Rental Program
Whaleback Nordic decided to upgrade its rental equipment
big time this year. Bruce Le Grow alerted me to a program that
was on the go and we applied and were fortunate enough to purchase five new
complete ski packages. These sets were a great addition to our rental
program. The skis, boots and poles were all marked and they were put
into service immediately. Within a few weeks we began to notice that components
of the new ski sets were missing and before long we were missing 3 new sets of
black aluminium poles. Where did they go? We have had rental
equipment for years and losing equipment is not usually a
problem. Sometimes ski poles or a set of skis might get mixed
up with ski equipment from he schools, but no schools were out to the ski
park until just this past week. Gone ..... where???? Who
knows!
Nefarious Deed #4 - The
Skiing Beaver Who Gnaws Down Trees
Now this one is absolutely the most bizarre behaviour that
I've seen since I sailed my beloved sloop "The Many Pals" in the Dundee Cup
in the late 80s. For more on that speak to Dan Rumbolt as he was
first mate during those competitions. Yes, back to the story ... last
April near the end of the season, we formed the Great Whaleback Logging
team. Our task was to widen Chickadee Hollow and to deliver the logs
that were harvested to the chalet and then subsequently saw them up into
building materials. Louis While, Earl Hunt, Wallace Moores, Howard
Skinner, Dan Rumbolt, Jack Lamond, Kenny, Greg Alexander and Don "the
Chief" Cormier were just some of the illustrious Whaleback gang.
Well, imagine our surprise when we cruised into the worksite on the first
morning and noticed that someone the previous evening has skied in and had
begun to gnaw a trail through the woods bordering the trail near the top of
the hill just 100 metres NE of Dorm's Detour. Well, we
immediately stopped and inspected the site and sure enough, a skier from
our club? or a skier who may have skied in from Blow-Me-Down? or Codroy for that
matter? had clandestinely arrived on the scene the evening before and
chopped away in an effort to create a new unauthorized trail.
Now this new trail posed a problem to Earl and I because we could see that the
opening would result in drifting across the trail so we set about to find out
who was dong this dastardly deed. Our first scene of investigation
was the pentagon and to our surprise the pentagon axe was missing. We
quickly concluded that the culprit had transported the axe to the "scene of the
gnawing" and in diligent fashion chewed away at the trees. We
continued to log in the Chickadee area for about 3 or 4 days and each
morning we noticed that more progress had been made by the
nocturnal-skier-turned-beaver as he/she proceeded in their diligent quest to
create a new trail. Not knowing if it was a beaver from the brook
turned-skier, or a skier from Whaleback turned-beaver, I decided take a
chance and send a note out to the membership to ask if anyone was gnawing at the
trail, but alas no reply. I also cruised the edge of the brook
looking for a quiet location where a beaver might store his skis, but no
skis were found. The mystery remains unsolved, but if you wish to view the
scene of destruction .... just have a look to the right when you climb the
little hill just past Dorm's Detour and just before the Snowy Owl
intersection. The cunning cutter has certainly created an
opening for drifting snow. Bizzzzzzzzzzarre to say the least!
Other unsolved mysteries at the
chalet
There have been a number of missing domestic items
from the chalet kitchen ... the latest is a full container of Pine
Sol ... there have been missing ski straps ... missing hats
... missing brownies from the canteen .... one member reported missing a
new Louis Garneau ski jacket and despite looking for it all over the chalet it
was not found, however it turned up in a conspicuous location after that person
made it well known around the chalet that her jacket went missing .... and
there may be other items that might have not been reported
missing.
So What is the Upshot of All
This
I am sick to think that our members personal property
and equipment and property of Whaleback is at risk of being
stolen. Trust is a big word and we must rely on Trust because we cannot
lock everything in the chalet ... Whaleback is about sharing and having
respect for one another's possessions and when things go missing it is very
upsetting to everyone in our cooperative play group. As
communications person with the club and chair of the marathon committee, it
would be irresponsible of me not to notify the membership of the mysterious
occurrences at Whaleback especially the latest theft. It is your club and
you deserve to know the facts. Tomorrow night we will be having an
executive meeting and I will file a report of the missing beer incident and will
suggest that the investigation be carried further. Losing $175. worth
of product is not a small loss and we should do our utmost to get to the
investigate
it.
Your weary scribe,
Graham (limited editing)
PS
If anybody saw anything suspicious at kitchen party
regarding the unauthorized removal of beer from the chalet please let me know
and I will file it with my report ....
"Oh I want to be an RCMP,
And ride around town in my Ford
Galaxie,
Catch all the Scotchmen for pouching the
deer,
And hassle the hippies for just being
here!"
(Lyrics from my days as a ski bum down at Cape Smokey in
the early 70s ... this draft dogger band used to sing at our kitchen
parties and I think I may be revisiting the lyrics of my old
favourites ....
