Of all things....lassie bread goes missin'

This was too good not to post....now, try googling lassie bread and see what you come up with. I was tempted to just lassie a piece myself and take a pic but the homemade bread is short around here (no pun intended Graham)....That GO certainly has a way with words...here is no exception.

Dan Rumbolt Loses His Lassie Bread
     What an executive meeting we had at Don Cormier's last evening.   I'd say when word gets out about our five star executive meetings, we'll have to put the brakes on nominations  at the AGM.  I can see it now, "no more that 23 wishful souls may be nominated per executive position".  Now it's wasn't Dougie's stimulating agenda that made the meeting so delicious last evening, it was Linda Cormier's tasty offering  that won the palates of all in attendance.  Everyone stuffed themselves with fresh homemade bread and molasses and all the tea ya wanted to drink.  It's shockin' how good it was!  
        Imagine ..... you drive out to Noel's Pond and walk in the door at Don's and the aroma of fresh bread hits ya right between the nostrils.  And there sitting on the table is the culprit, hot fresh loaves with a thick brown crust just waiting to be gobbled.  I almost didn't make it to the living room where the meeting was held.  Anne and Diane Hanratty had to push me out of the kitchen and Linda, with breadknife in hand, had to stand at guard between me and the loaves or I would have devoured them all.  It was cruel how they treated me!  Not one morsel could I have!
        Throughout the meeting no one could concentrate. Everyone was drooling ... it was so bad that Don had to pass out paper towels to dam the flow. Shockin' I tell you .... what a mess we were in ... we were just like "Pav'loaves'" dogs. And as the meeting neared the final slam of the gavel, it got worse 'cause Linda put on the kettle and that did it!  The purr of the kettle made everyone realize that a lunch was imminent!  Linda WAS going to offer everyone a slice of bread as soon as Dougie said "Meeting adjourned!" We were not disappointed.  
        Now I must confess .... me being a Cape Bretoner, I thought I knew it all there was to know about eating bread and molasses but I was taught a tasty trick last evening.   According to Carter Powers, who is an authority on eating and manners, I was told that one is supposed to put the molasses on the bread first and then cover it with butter..... Well, well, well, what a delightful method for engorging oneself!  So ya saturate the bread with lassie and then slather an 1/8 inch (4 mm for the  metrically inclined)  of butter on top. Yes, what a feed we had!  And all the muffins ya could eat toooooo.   Don't be talkin'!
        But alas, I do have one sin to confess ... Ya see Linda gave me a few slices of lassied bread for Dan Rumbolt ...'cause Dan sorta likes Linda's fresh buns (of bread)  .... choice of words is everything ...  so yes, Linda lassied up two fat slices for Dan and wrapped them up tightly and I shoved them in me pocket with all good intention of delivering the goods today ... But on the way home I got overcome with a virulent desire to consume the entire contents of my left pocket and was therefore forced to pull over by the cemetery and devour Linda's flavourfull offering.  
        I deleted his (Dan's name) from this email list so don't tell him about his long gone treat or he'll be savage and he'll never offer me one of Betty's delicious banana muffins again.   Dan usually has a store of delicious muffins on our ski/kayak/bike tours!   Now schhussss!   
        So .. make sure that you race out and  get nominated at the next AGM  and you too can have a "fresh slice of life" complete with molasses.  Thanks Linda and Don ... what a feed!  Roy Bungay and Howard Skinner ... ya missed out!   But now Howard ... Anne Marie has wicked date squares and don't you forget it on our next wood cutting party! 
GO